Live Life to The Full…

•17 August, 2008 • No Comments

What does that even really mean? Living life to the full, it’s a bit open to interpretation. I always find fat people saying this a lot, and they certainly live life to BE full, not to the full. It’s a really bad idea to live life this way, in fact it’s incredibly idiotic to. It’s the sort of thing you hear a druggie saying.

How do you exactly go about living life to the full? I have prepared a quick guide:

  1. Fail at school
    This should be top of the list. People who fail at school are often known to live life to the full. By pissing about their valuable time in lessons with people who actually want to learn things, they are having fun and so are living life to the full. Someone did however forget to mention that without qualifications you’ll spend the next 50 years dressed as a banana, acting as a pathetic slave to people who actually bothered to make something of themselves.
  2. Take as many different drugs as much as possible
    Well why not? It is your body after all, do what you like with it. A great way to have ‘fun’ is to constantly take lots of drugs and slowly but surely destroy your brain for years to come! Enjoy being sick and unable to let go of the thing your body now craves for. Whilst being dressed as a banana, slave to someone with a lot more intelligence than you, that money can be spent of buying that one last hit of heroin.
  3. Treat people like arseholes
    Damn straight! I mean, why not? Not like anyone is anywhere near as important than you. See that Doctor who is writing you out for a prescription for that drug to wean you off those other drugs your taking? Make sure that guy knows it’s his fault that you failed at life. Why blame yourself? Not like that time at school could have been spent any differently.

I could go on here but there are so many more piss poor ‘life’ taglines that need attention.

  • Don’t judge me before you get to know me - Why the hell not? I can judge who the hell I want. I don’t want to get to know a serial murderer before i realise he’s not a nice person, and is possibly a bit fucked up. That Chav with ‘CUNT’ written on the back of his hair. I don’t want to get to know them. I want to laugh at them and judge them because they are probably complete dickheads.
  • Life is simple, it’s just not easy - Contradictory. If something is simple, it implies it is easy. Explaining the obvious stupidity of this is not as favourable as masturbating with a cheese grater.
  • Finding a man is like fucking for virginity - Funny! I see exactly what you did there! It sucked. It was actually really bad. I think you should go die. There are some decent people out there, but if you continuously go out with men with brains the size of peas who are quite obviously on steroids and will treat you like shit, you’ll keep your crappy world view that all men are arseholes. Find a nice bloke of shut the fuck up.
  • Life’s not about what you’ve got, it’s about what you make of what you got - That doesn’t even make sense. Is there something which people get and then don’t use?
  • Life’s what you make of it - You don’t fucking say. It’s not going to be what someone else makes of it now. Unless your a tool. You probably are. This is an excellent life quote then!
  • Love me or hate me - Shit? Is that it? Am I not allowed to just like you. In fact, shut the fuck up, don’t tell me what to do you simple-minded moron.

I’m sure there are hundreds of others. If enough people comment, I’ll do a voulme two of ridiculous sayings.

Crappy Dance Movies

•5 August, 2008 • No Comments

How these things ever reach production I don’t know. I can’t remember where it started but there was a movie where some girl had to become a good dancer. Probably all it came from Dirty Dancing. See now, originality is excellent, I like it. I didn’t have to like the first dance movie, but at least it was something different. Then suddenly bang, someone takes dirty dancing, puts it into a modern setting and we have them all over the movie market.

The fact they all have incredibly boring and similar story lines is what annoys me the most. You have the girl, the ‘hero’ and main character of the story. Probably a bit socially inept, she wants to be somebody and secretly knows how to dance, probably does ballet or something. Then there is the group of super cool, usually black, street dancers who are also so stereotypical. The girl then wants to join the super cool group of dancers, usually finds some pathetically plain love interest along the way and proves she is more than just a ballet dancer, getting into the group and being the best thing ever!

Don’t care. Boring.

I can’t think of many things that are worse than a bunch of piss poor actors and dancers parading around a plain and dull storyline for one and a half hours. Why the hell would anyone want to watch it. In fact I challenge anyone to find a movie which in someway is more boring than these. It makes War and Peace look like a fun filled tripping adventure, where loads of laddies get their tits out whilst explosions all go off around them in high definition. Possibly with some zombies.

Actually there is one film with a worse storyline (actually there is probably a whole bunch more but this one seriously make me laugh).

Jump in! is a really really bad story about someone who decides to give up a career in boxing to do the ultra cool and highly popular sport amongst today’s teens…

JUMP ROPING!

Just why Hollywood…

LOLZ

•1 August, 2008 • No Comments

Internet speak - the thing that makes the internet itself. It identifies the internet, much like other languages are unique to where they came from. It progressed from just making things easier for people on irc who used it in moderation but has now become a global phenomenon, a plague, a virus. It’s horrible.

Apparently it started mainly when normal people could actually use the internet. They found these new things and thought to themselves “well I’ll fit in surely if I use these words.” No, you wouldn’t have but they did anyway, can’t change that. It slowly grew into what it is today. Bah.

See now I don’t mind it if people use it now as an actual joke saying, for example:

omg ur so funny LOL!!1/1!?1sfgikdgf

That would be in return to something funny. Again, sometimes if you use phrases like WTF in moderation they are acceptable, but it has to be acceptable and correct. Most of the time it just isn’t.

Now everyone uses it, for everything and anything. They’ll use it for the sake of using it. For example, come onto a messenger and say ‘hi lol’

Are you even laughing!? LOL means LAUGH OUT LOUD. Lol now means “I’m too stupid to think up a reasonable response to the English language due to my social skills being that of a retarded sociopathic piece of plasterboard, so I’ll just say lol”

Then people took it too far…

Lolz

Just go die please. What’s the z for? Seriously, it has no use. Laugh out Loudz? That doesn’t even make sense. In fact, here is a list of things that don’t make sense/

  1. Lolz - as said above this is retarded, doesn’t make sense and is only used by morons who don’t think lol is shitty enough for them to use
  2. wubu2 - I don’t even know where to start with this one. It mixes shortening words to one fucking letter and then, for the pure hell of it, using a number at the end of it? Why not just keep the trend, and have a t at the end? It makes far more sense, but saying that, they could make it worse and add an l on the end. I remember the first time someone used it and told me what it meant. I drove round there and cut out her ovaries.
  3. 1nce - You haven’t even shortened it!? You’ve just made it look more retarded. Either it’s not become Ince, a popular surname or it’s onence which is even more retareded. Just get the fuck out (look I spelt it!)
  4. Wut - That just looks stupid.

There are so many more. Long and short of it is that aol speak/msn speak/txt talk is just plain old retarded. Want to look cool? Learn to fucking spell and type. They’ve even taught monkeys to do it. You look like a total fag when you type like that. Don’t turn out like this:

Typical retarded sub-humans.

Typical retarded sub-humans.

(P.S. Remember, only use text speak in certain Internet memes, and even then, use in total moderation)

Stem Cells et cetera

•29 July, 2008 • 2 Comments

Stem cells. Fantastic things these are. You can create near enough any type of human cells from these bad boys as they haven’t developed as such yet. Why are they so fantastically awesome? Well they can fix a lot of conditions involving otherwise crappy conditions such as brain, spine, heart and the like. Hell even really bastards of diseases such as Parkinson’s. It’s already shown potential and success. So this wonder treatment, sounds too good to be true. Well it is for normal people. Then you have cunts. Definition:

Cunt (IPA:/kʌnt/) is an English language vulgarism referring generally to the female genitalia.

Well I’m sure you all know what it means. So what’s the problem with these cells. Well the best one comes from babies. Well I say babies, actually embryos. Basically you have to CUNT that embryo right out. Kill it. Slaughter it. Go at it with an axe, whatever. Once it’s all good and ready, you take that embryo, put it to some use and cha-ching, you have your self a potentially life saving treatment. Awesome. Obviously I’m not saying we should go around ripping embryos out of people, merely putting the ones that certain people do not want, to good use. Sweet.

You however get these ovely people are are ‘pro-life’ whatever that means (well it means they hate abortions). They are usually people who can’t have children or come from easy lives where it wouldn’t matter if they had a child. They think that if you get up the duff then you should keep that baby or give it to someone who wants it i.e. them. They don’t consider the option that people may actually want to make their decisions themselves. Oh no, we want to make it for you, YOUR KEEPING THAT BABY. Anyway their idea is that your as an embryo is apparently ‘alive’ it should not be touched or killed. Apparently it’s the equivalent of murder. Definition of murder…

Murder is the unlawful killing of a human person with malice aforethought

Well for one it’s not against the law. Two, it isn’t a human person and number three there isn’t and malice unless the scientist happens to be a violent serial murder who has a taste for necrophilia and pedophilia towards the very young age of the spectrum (not even born yet). So there is that argument out the window. Embryos are potential humans, they are not people, they are not alive, they are things. That is it. They cannot live outside the womb, they can’t talk and smoke, they are inside a stomach being kept alive on a biological life machine. Life machines are a good topic for another day…

So yeah they get all pissy. But does it really effect them? Not really no, the embryos would not be used otherwise, scientists are not suggesting using embryos that are actually wanted, they are talking about ones that may be being aborted. But pro-life don’t like abortion either. I hear they don’t want people to have any say on their own lives in fact. If they don’t like it, fine, sign a nice big petition with your names and addresses and any potential treatments gained will not be used on you, it’s only fair. That way you know your not having any part in life saving treatments. I’m sure it will give you that warm fuzzy feeling

People need to stop trying to slow the progress of mankind because it contradicts a small portion of their personal beliefs. They are as bad as animal rights extremists. Don’t like it? Fine, fuck off, and leave the people who are legitimately trying to save peoples lives do their fucking jobs. Go up to someone in Parkinson’s and say that you are trying to stop them getting a potential cure for their disease. I’d love to see their face.

Stem cell research - awesome

A bunch of fat old slags on their periods - CUNTS

(For more and better worded information watch this:

)

Knife Crime

•20 July, 2008 • No Comments

It appears that these days, a day cannot go past without a paper reporting something about knife crime. It’s one of those ‘hot topics’ right now which has got the nation talking. Not so long ago it was gun crime, but people appeared to have got bored of that. Maybe the police were doing their job instead of filling out reports on why there were too many guns about and asking people to hand them in. Why not go and fucking take them instead, it’s much more interesting for one.

Unlike gun crime, knife crime is a bit harder to counter act. Mainly because, people can get knives from anywhere. From the home or what not, I’m sure there is one to hand. But why are so many kiddies carrying them? Because they are complete tossers, that is why.

You see shows, usually on channel 4, investigating knife crime and the poor kids who have to deal with it. Stereotypically, most of them are black and look like something that has just come out of a particularly bad rap video. We’ve all seen them. Not all of them are black, the white and Asian ones want to be though. It’s a different culture. And these kids try and make it seem like they carry knife so that they can ‘protect themselves’ and that they would only ever use it for this use. Fuck off. Your just as bad as every other tosser who carries a knife in his pocket. People are less likely to care if you murdered when you have a knife, and then get stabbed with your own or another one. It’s your own fault you stupid spastic, just get rid of it. Get your friends to get rid of it. It isn’t manly, it’s fucking ridiculous.

Basically the logical reasoning is that if someone else has it, then you need to have it so your not at some sort of disadvantage. Well some people might have bombs, we should carry them around with us to. And grenades. The question is, where the hell does it end? It doesn’t put simply, because aggressive chavs don’t want it to. They like their pathetic sense of power over people and it’s a sick pleasure which makes their minds tick. We should use them as human shields in wars. It’s all they deserve. I couldn’t give two fucks quite frankly. They do nothing except exploit a system and abuse those around them.

People with knives should quite frankly fuck off. Go to somewhere where people should actually be scared of going outside like Zimbabwe and be bloody grateful you live in a niceish country. Retards

P.E.T.A - An Open Letter

•19 July, 2008 • No Comments

Dear P.E.T.A,

In regards to my last post on this matter, which was written a long time before I posted it on this blog, I would like to propose something that will hopefully prove to the world your not a bunch of whiney little turds and that you could actually do something potentially useful with your lives other than blowing things up and not eating meat (which is great, more for the rest of us eh?).

Seeing as you are so against people testing on animals and find it to be ‘poor’ scientific practice which garners no real use, I propose you show the world that what we should be doing is testing on people straight away. People being you. As we obviously can’t test on animals because it is so unethical, I suggest you all go along to which ever testing place you want and offer to let them use you instead of the poor defenceless animals that need protecting so badly from the big bad scientists who just like to torture their little furry feet. By doing this you will be helping mankind.

Regards, Daniel E.

Women

•19 July, 2008 • No Comments
Dear Girls…

There are a number of things that mankinds female counter part does to men that is really annoying. I mean mindblowingly annoying. I’m not going to go into femnazis or the like because their women>men mentality annoys me. Why having boobs and a vagina make you inherently better than someone with a penis is beyond me. Anyway some things that annoy me.

1) Bitching

Seriously, nobody cares. No man cares who did this, that or the dog. I don’t care who bitched about me either, they obviously aren’t important enough if they couldn’t even say it to my face. It’s annoying to hear people constantly slagging off others. It can be funny if done well and in short bursts, but it isn’t ever even slightly amusing. It’s a one way ticket to “I’ve got a sandy-vagina syndrome” though.

2) Dress sense

Girls can be hot. Others can’t be. Fact of life. So it if you don’t have it, don’t flaunt it. Fat and ugly people don’t get this. If you have really big thighs, don’t wear skinny jeans. In fact, just don’t wear skinny jeans. Once in a while, a good old camel toe is nice, but I don’t want to know if you’ve got rolls in your thighs, and their exact measurements. Also, if you have a top on that has writing on it, don’t tell me I’m being a perv looking at your tits. You fucking put the writing there! All your doing is giving me an EXCUSE to look at your tits and not look like a perv.

3) Don’t lie

Lieing = Bad. Got that sorted? Good. Ther is nothing worse than being in a relationship with a girl who lies. Especially when it comes to the break-up. then it just gets fucking stupid:

“I just want to be friends” - tought shit. It doesn’t work that way

“It’s not you, it’s me” - It’s laughable this. If it isn’t your fault, that means you’ve done nothing wrong, ergo, there is no reason to ‘dump’ this poor man. If a girl uses this, then you know she has the I.Q. of your average checkout assistant at Tesco.

“It’s just not working” - Well cheers, a really well though out and informative answer. Of course that’ll be all you get. Don’t expect any actualt reasons when getting dumped by a girl

4) “I’m not in the mood”

Tough shit. This is a two way relationship.

There are so many more reasons. Too many to count so I’ll leave it at that. Add your own to the list (even though you can’t).

Macbook Air - Fail

•19 July, 2008 • No Comments
Mac Book Air - Fail

It’s fail simply put. Why they designed such an awful piece of crap I’ll never comprehend.

From what it appears, our ‘friends’ at Apple took a Laptop and thought ‘How could we make a Laptop worse and sell it for more money?’ They came up with a solution. They would do what all good crap celebrities do and go on some amazing diet and lose everything that was even slightly good about them before, which with Macs, isn’t a lot.

1. Cost

It costs a pretty penny. Over in the U.S. over $3000, which is roughly £1500. Nice. For that sort of serious dos, I’m expecting some sexual features as well as just it being lightweight, along with every other laptop invented. Ah but wait, this has about as many good features as a ball basher. None. It’s crap. It’s notable feature is it’s size. Who the fu ck cares?

2. Screen Size

Well for a decent Laptop these days, and for that price, we are talking some serious stuff. Maybe SXGA, SXGA+. Oh no, doesn’t have that, just your standard wide screen resolution. Boring. Who cares if the thing is tiny if I can’t see the screen in a nice resolution (Not that the Mac needs a good resolution because for gaming, it’s crap)

3. Speakers

Ah some decent in-built speakers? Would defy the point if you had to carry some good ones round with you. Well, actually, they managed a huge step in mono speakers. It’s ok, Stereo has only been around for over 100 years now. I don’t like sound anyway, the vibrations may cause the Mac to fly it’s so lightweight.

4. Battery Life

A good battery life surely? Or at least the ability to change the battery. Er, well no actually. The battery lasts around 5 hours which is rather average and you can’t get another battery. Oh well, those 5 hours of work will be fun whilst your mono sound pumps out. You might be able to bust out a Amiga emulator if your lucky, assuming you can get it to run.

5. Wireless

Well you can get wireless! Hooray! And can you get an upgrade if you want to use anything other than 802.11!? NO! Fuck you lot, nobody wants good wireless when your forking out £1500. You just want shitty connection you can’t upgrade.

6. Wired Network

Well, no, why would you use wired (other than it being faster, safer and more efficient)?

7. Modem

Well don’t be silly.

8. Fire wire

A wire that is on fire would be dangerous for the Mac users of today. Other than the ones that cut themselves with the apple logo.

9. Card bus

Card bus? On a ‘top-range’ laptop? No chance. People don’t need upgrades, they just want to buy a new product!

9. Camera and Microphone

These two are both standard on a pretty cheap laptop. And do you get them! Of course you don’t. Well you get the camera, but if you want a microphone, your going to have to being that along with you. More weight.

10. Microphone plug in

Guess we won’t be needing that microphone then…

11. CD Drive/DVD Drive/Any other optical drive

No! These are the things of the past, people don’t use these anymore. Games? What the hell is that? Video editing? I don’t know where you get these crazy ideas, nobody uses DVD’s anymore, end of story.

12. Storage

A maximum of a whopping 80GB. Jesus Christ, it’s huge! I might be able to get like, some of my music on there, a game and maybe a few movies. I can never see me using all that space! Of course, I would usually put my stuff on say a DVD, but I can’t really do that anymore.

13. Port Explicator

Look, your not using any optical drives ok? Your not allowed. Macs do not get along with other things, just take it as it is, stop trying to plug dirty things into your Mac book air!

14. Card-reader

Nope. What did I tell you about other media!

15. Mi sc

1 USB drive. Non-expandable. Well let’s hope you don’t like using a proper mouse AND some USB storage as your going to have a hard time using them both.

Let’s just face it, this thing is really bad. I don’t acer how small it is, where you can fit it. the only good place to fit one of these if you want to buy one is straight up your arose, as it’s probably just as useful there as it is on your table. For £500 less you can buy something that isn’t that much heavier or bigger than the Mac book Air, and out performs it on everything. It’s pathetic. People buy Mac and Apple products for the logo. They aren’t much of a hardware company anymore, they are a fashion company. People buy this crap to keep up with the latest Mac ‘Trend.’

I don’t even like Laptops, but this is just awful. Save your money, buy a decent laptop or, hell, buy a desktop, they are much better at everything.

WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE

•19 July, 2008 • No Comments
WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE

Or so many people would have us believe. you have to love the media. I mean it takes balls to lie day in day out for money. They are certainly better actors than most of the crappy “stars” Hollywood has these days.

The most usual sensationalism these days are negative, mainly because it sells. If it was between man saves cat and world to end in 10 minutes, well, I probably wouldn’t be standing around reading a newspaper but still, the second one does sound more interesting. It’s a shame that most of those sort of stories are complete bollocks anyway. Ah well.

There are a couple of examples of excellent media sensationalism. When they are desperate and/or bored, they’ll take anything. SARs was one of these ‘killer’ diseases that was going to kill everyone and take us back to the dark ages. Awesome, sounds like we have a weapon against twats. However it wasn’t quite as good as we thought. In fact as far as it goes, it was the retarded brother of influenza, that was kept in the cupboard and not let out because it was so fucking stupid. This disease was making headlines for killing about 2 people (well, 774) or something silly is Asia. It hadn’t even made it over into Europe yet, let alone England, and we were still all going to die. The mortality rate was less than 10%. Of the 4 people in the UK who got it, not one died.

So why the big problems? Who knows. Had this have been around for years on end, like the flu, then nobody would have cared. However it was a new-ish virus so everyone was going to die, and nobody could convince anyone otherwise.

Bird Flu is another awesome example. Apparently that was going to destroy life as we knew it over here in the U.K. People went crazy, started stocking up on supplies and stupid things like this. Why? Because the papers and media said we were all going to die from new disease #8475. Cheers jackasses, you’ve just proved you know dickall about diseases, especially how they travel. The chances of people coming into direct contact with birds on a day to day basis, especially ones that have the disease is tiny. I know people have some crazy fetishes these days, but I prefer not to put my dick in a bird’s mouth, especially if I don’t know where it has been. Currently the mortality rate is high, at just over 60%. Well at least it’s a killer. But ther have only been 369 cases in the world that have been recorded. And they predict this thing will kill anywhere between 5million to 150million. What sort of prediction is that? I’ve got my own prediction. Dieing whilst getting raped by a mutated squirrel could kill anywhere between 0 and 9billion people! Fuck me, let’s start preparing now. Bollocks.

Lastly, the greatest sensationalism has to be global warming. Everytime I hear someone go on about global warming I want to punch them. If I wanna drive a car and spray deodorant then I will. I think that picking on deodrant is just an excuse as to why hippies smell so bad.

Anyway, global warming apparently is going to kill everyone in the world and just basically cause ice ages, heat waves, global storms and probably AIDs. Well at least they have tried to model what is going to happen, but no one can agree. Apparently everything is heating up by 3 degrees farenheit. Well that’s it, human race down the pan. Oh and that’s in about 100 years. The previous 100 years it went up by 1 by itself. Now let’s say it did heat up hugely, then that big thing is that the ice is going to melt and then the AIDs spreads or something vaguely similar. Small problem, there is actually more ice now than there was back in 1980. About 1million square km more actually. Here’s a diagram:

SO MUCH MELTING

SO MUCH MELTING

So even if we went on a melting spree, we are going to have a tough time to get back where we were. They are even taken in the same month.

Let’s continue the story. We get to it cooling down that good old Gulf Stream (even though according to some, the oceans are getting warmer as well). Well basically it’s all bollocks to. It isn’t going to happen. If it did we apparently would enter an ice age, so it that excess water would be gone, and then the Polar Bears would be fine.

Basically most of the evidence brought forward is a possible cause of global warming which is a natural activity anyway. For every study of global warming there is a counter study. It’s impossible to tell. I wouldn’t mind England being a little warming, it’s fucking freezing here. If it gets really icy, well I couldn’t care really, at least I could make a snow dick or something funny.

All this sensationalism is complete rubbish. People who want to feel happy that they are saving the Earth going too far and making up stuff and making nothing more than guesses at what might happen if we let a natural process happen. Scientists are now even suggesting we artficially cool the Earth which could result in deaths of people where it is already fucking cold anyway. Anyone think of them. Of course not. If you think your gonna die from the big evil of global warming your a fucking retard. Go get a science book. Or do us all a favour and go and protest something useless like Scientology.

Subcultures

•19 July, 2008 • No Comments
Why Subcultures Suck

I really dislike subcultures, and I use to be in one. Take me back about five years when I was a young scamp, I went through the rebellion years of childhood. Those were the days I suppose. They still suck though, hell they practically sucked then (or I got sucked depending which way you look at it).

People seem to love them. There aren’t that many people I can think of who I know who don’t seem to belong to some sort of sub-culture, other than some of my closer friends. Apparently these days there is something wrong with just being yourself. Of course there is another thing that pisses me off about sub-cultures. Anyway, on with the show.

Emo

Everyone knows at least 2 emo kids these days. Hair cut over one eye, likes little bows in their hair, generally balls have not dropped yet, whiney and they listen to some of the world’s worst music. It’s horrible. They usually smoke too. They are one of these groups in which every member when commented on just say “you hate me cos’ I’m different.” Incorrect answer, dumbass. This is one huge thing wrong with most sub-cultures, they all think they are some how more unique and individual than everyone else. Of course they don’t see that being exactly the same to all of their friends is some how hypocritical of this thinking, what they really mean is “you hate me because I look like a twat.” Every time you tell them to go and cut their wrists when they are blowing second hand smoke in your face they inform you that not all emos cut their wrists. I was so shocked at this statement that I ripped the poor sod’s balls out, because they obviously weren’t planning on dropping themselves. The women are almost as bad, however there isn’t enough evidence to prove that emos are anything except for hermaphrodites.

Chav

The Chav is quite obviously worse than your common emo. As long as your not near an emo when they are smoking or moaning, they can be tolerated. Chavs cannot be tolerated in any sort of society. For anyone who doesn’t know what a Chav is, I suggest typing it into google and seeing what comes up as there is far too much to explain. For our American friends the simplest I can put it is that they are violent and retarded wiggers. Usually it is another phase which people grow out of, although it appears to last a lot longer than most phases, and could well be permanent. If alcoholism is a disease, then this is a fatal virus. Generally, coming into close contact with Chavs for a long period of time may cause you to become one yourself. Soon you will find yourself listening to lyric-less music, with little in the way of imagination or rhythm. This music which may cuase brain damage is called “Drum and bass” although I’ve never heard the drum beat myself. They are also dangerous characters, carrying around knifes and guns and being involved in gang wars. So, my suggestion here is to put that hunting ban on foxes to good use and set them on Chavs. The odour shouldn’t be hard to gain - cheap cider, stale fags and fake gold.

Indie Kids

After mainstream music got bored of itself, it realised there was one thing they hadn’t tried yet - mass marketing the scene which was made to not be mass marketed. The result was more crap. When more crap is made into a new genre, in comes a new sub-culture. this new one is very silly. The biggest irony is in the name itself - Indie is supposed to be something that is anti-conformity, yet it is a conformist sub-culture itself. It’s all rather amusing really, although obviously this cannot be seen to the people inside the group. What basically they end up looking like is someone who has just come out of the 70s and decided that new-wave rules and combined the both. The result tends to be failure. Some of them look like they have just come from a golf tournament, others have very silly cardigans on that have been knited by their granny, skinny jeans on the thinest of people, drain pipes and more. On their own, these items can be made to look quite nice, however when you try to jam them all together it just looks pathetic.

There are of course many more sub-culture to rip the shit out of, but these are currently the most common in England. The age of the punk rocker and the Goth are slowly dwindling away. And by Punk I don’t mean Sum 41 or anything vaguely similar, proper punk like The Clash and Sex Pistols. These were proper punks, loved anarchy and properly ate small babies for breakfast, just for the hell of it.

I mean basically put, most sub-cultures suck unless they actually stand for something and aren’t totally annoying. Why people can’t just be themselves is beyond me, but I suppose most people’s brains haven’t developed enough yet to allow them to think for themselves for once. Shame that.