Macbook Air – Fail
It’s fail simply put. Why they designed such an awful piece of crap I’ll never comprehend.
From what it appears, our ‘friends’ at Apple took a Laptop and thought ‘How could we make a Laptop worse and sell it for more money?’ They came up with a solution. They would do what all good crap celebrities do and go on some amazing diet and lose everything that was even slightly good about them before, which with Macs, isn’t a lot.
1. Cost
It costs a pretty penny. Over in the U.S. over $3000, which is roughly £1500. Nice. For that sort of serious dos, I’m expecting some sexual features as well as just it being lightweight, along with every other laptop invented. Ah but wait, this has about as many good features as a ball basher. None. It’s crap. It’s notable feature is it’s size. Who the fu ck cares?
2. Screen Size
Well for a decent Laptop these days, and for that price, we are talking some serious stuff. Maybe SXGA, SXGA+. Oh no, doesn’t have that, just your standard wide screen resolution. Boring. Who cares if the thing is tiny if I can’t see the screen in a nice resolution (Not that the Mac needs a good resolution because for gaming, it’s crap)
3. Speakers
Ah some decent in-built speakers? Would defy the point if you had to carry some good ones round with you. Well, actually, they managed a huge step in mono speakers. It’s ok, Stereo has only been around for over 100 years now. I don’t like sound anyway, the vibrations may cause the Mac to fly it’s so lightweight.
4. Battery Life
A good battery life surely? Or at least the ability to change the battery. Er, well no actually. The battery lasts around 5 hours which is rather average and you can’t get another battery. Oh well, those 5 hours of work will be fun whilst your mono sound pumps out. You might be able to bust out a Amiga emulator if your lucky, assuming you can get it to run.
5. Wireless
Well you can get wireless! Hooray! And can you get an upgrade if you want to use anything other than 802.11!? NO! Fuck you lot, nobody wants good wireless when your forking out £1500. You just want shitty connection you can’t upgrade.
6. Wired Network
Well, no, why would you use wired (other than it being faster, safer and more efficient)?
7. Modem
Well don’t be silly.
8. Fire wire
A wire that is on fire would be dangerous for the Mac users of today. Other than the ones that cut themselves with the apple logo.
9. Card bus
Card bus? On a ‘top-range’ laptop? No chance. People don’t need upgrades, they just want to buy a new product!
9. Camera and Microphone
These two are both standard on a pretty cheap laptop. And do you get them! Of course you don’t. Well you get the camera, but if you want a microphone, your going to have to being that along with you. More weight.
10. Microphone plug in
Guess we won’t be needing that microphone then…
11. CD Drive/DVD Drive/Any other optical drive
No! These are the things of the past, people don’t use these anymore. Games? What the hell is that? Video editing? I don’t know where you get these crazy ideas, nobody uses DVD’s anymore, end of story.
12. Storage
A maximum of a whopping 80GB. Jesus Christ, it’s huge! I might be able to get like, some of my music on there, a game and maybe a few movies. I can never see me using all that space! Of course, I would usually put my stuff on say a DVD, but I can’t really do that anymore.
13. Port Explicator
Look, your not using any optical drives ok? Your not allowed. Macs do not get along with other things, just take it as it is, stop trying to plug dirty things into your Mac book air!
14. Card-reader
Nope. What did I tell you about other media!
15. Mi sc
1 USB drive. Non-expandable. Well let’s hope you don’t like using a proper mouse AND some USB storage as your going to have a hard time using them both.
Let’s just face it, this thing is really bad. I don’t acer how small it is, where you can fit it. the only good place to fit one of these if you want to buy one is straight up your arose, as it’s probably just as useful there as it is on your table. For £500 less you can buy something that isn’t that much heavier or bigger than the Mac book Air, and out performs it on everything. It’s pathetic. People buy Mac and Apple products for the logo. They aren’t much of a hardware company anymore, they are a fashion company. People buy this crap to keep up with the latest Mac ‘Trend.’
I don’t even like Laptops, but this is just awful. Save your money, buy a decent laptop or, hell, buy a desktop, they are much better at everything.
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